there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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