You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
