I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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