Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
