It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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