just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
