When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize