Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
