I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
