I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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