a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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