so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
