dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
