You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
