the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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