Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
