Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
