Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
