I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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