I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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