did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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