Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
