Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
