Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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