Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
