one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
