I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The Olympian is in my bed
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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