plz talk dirty to me
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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