life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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