sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You smell like stripper and shame
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
