i was born a porn star she said
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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