id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
