After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
