Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
So here I am, sexting at work.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
