My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Boobs are out for the taking
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
