shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
