umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
