dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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