chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
