I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
