Plan B is the new Plan A
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
