Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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