Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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