just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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