Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize