her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
