You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
