Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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