guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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