my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
