I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
