I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
