What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
