just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Damn victory sex feels great
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
