my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
