we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
